May 5, 2004
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Ok, the story and picture you have all been waiting for. The other day I was at the grocery store (Vons accross the street). I usually just walk over because it’s close and it gives me an excuse to take Serra~V~ for a walk. Anyway, I was at the meat department and looking for the chicken they had on sale for 57 cents a pound. I couldn’t find it for a few minutes. Then, tucked into the back I noticed only one left. As I reached for it, this lady came out of nowhere and grabbed it before I could. I said, “excuse me, don’t you think that is a little rude?” She just smirked and said “first come first serve.” I countered, “Are you serious? I was clearly reaching for that package and you know it.” I shouldn’t have done it but I did. I rammed her cart slightly and said, “You must have been raised by dogs with that grabby attitude.” I then proceded to leave the area in search of a manager so I could at least get a rain check for the item. I didn’t even see it coming, but onlookers said she blindsided me with the frozen bird as I walked by. It caught me on my left eyebrow and left me stunned for a minute. The great part is that she wasn’t able to hold onto the bird as she swung it so hard. It bounced off my face and landed in my cart. I heard cheers from fellow shoppers as I took off with the prize. I left the lady behind me yelling profanities.
That’s how it could have happened, but this is how it really happened. It has been scorching here in mild Santa Paula: Record breaking heat for the time of year and area. Serra and I spend a lot of time at the pool in the afternoons. Whe loves it and calls it the “waddy”. On Monday we had been there for nearly 2 hours and I was out of the water watching Serra play. She slipped off the first step and went into the water face first. Now she had on a floaty, but hasn’t learned to manipulate her limbs properly yet so she was struggling to get her face out of the water. I grabbed her up and was comforting the howls of indignance, when this kid ran by me and cuaght the edge of the lounge chair with his hip. It swung forward and clocked me right in the eye. It began swelling immedietly and by Tuesday morning this was the result. Brian calls me his “prizefighter”. Serra~V~ likes to poke it and say “eye owwie”.
Brian was correct in mentioning our run in with the sasser virus. It is so frustrating that we keep getting these things. Brian spent 3 hours killing it last night and I spent 2 hours yesterday morning trying to get around it. It makes you computer keep shutting down so you can’t even download the fixes. I am glad Brian was able to figure it out.
Serra touched the hot stove a few minutes ago and recieved a burn on her finger. She keeps saying “done” which means that she has had it with the hurt and would like it to leave please. I have more to write but someone needs some lovin’. Hope you enjoyed my little story.
Comments (6)
Pam, you TOTALLY had me going with that story. What an imagination! Sorry about the lawn chair and the virus. Our virus scanner at work and home has been kept very busy… ~G
Almost unrecognizeable… you could have gotten away with telling it in the “third” person… truly frightening… pc
I believed you too. In fact I was so shocked about what had happened that I told everyone in my department right after I read it. I felt really dumb when I came back to my computer to read the read of the story. I thought that I was over that gullible stage.–maren
Move over Doug, Pam….now YOU are the MASTER!!! We’re all gonna have to think twice when we read something from you! But since Doug hasn’t written in awhile we need to be kept on our toes…and you can take the job! ~L
You had me going too. I almost called Jared to tell him your tall tale. The real story is good too, but not as good.
that is too funny. I am glad Im not the only one that was fooled. Before I had read the rest of the story i told it to doug who is in the room. But then I read the rest and felt kinda dumb….Besides, if that lady really had hit you, you probably could/would have taken her! -serra