February 13, 2011

• About a year ago I was sitting in Relief Society class on a Sunday afternoon.  I was just starting to feel normal and that I was getting my life back into a bit of rhythm after having Charlotte 6 months previously.  I was newly called into the Relief Society Presidency.  I was watching a baby boy (maybe 2 months old )  when I had a spiritual experience I will never forget.  It was as if I had been hit in the chest with a hammer.  It took my breath from me.  A strong impression came to me, "you have another boy waiting to come to your family."  I started weeping.  As a member of the presidency I sit in the front of the room facing the rest of the sisters.  I struggled to contain the tears.  They were not tears of sadness or even happiness at that point...just that I was overwhelmed by the power of the impression.  I kept this to myself for months.  I did not feel as if Brian was ready to hear it.  He was struggling to make ends meet with the dying construction company.  The last 6 months had been difficult to say the least for us all but he was taking on the brunt of the stress. 

  Fast forward to May.  Things were starting to look up with a possible career change for Brian and we decided to take a family trip to San Diego as we knew the summer would hold no opportunities for one for all of us together.  We had a very fun and relaxing weekend.  On the way home Brian says to me, "wouldn't it be great if we had another boy?"  I took that opportunity to tell him of my experience.   We decided we would remain on birth control until Charlotte was at least 1 year old and then we would let nature take it's course.  I went off birth control in August shortly after Charlie turned 1.

  During this time my struggle with weight loss continued as it has for years.  I made a deal of sorts with the Lord.  I was concerned about getting pregnant at my current weight as it had been such a struggle toward the end with Charlie.  I asked that I not get pregnant until I had lost at least 30 pounds.  I typically gain about that much in a pregnancy. 

  Fast forward to November.  I was not having any luck with losing weight.  It has been so frustrating to be careful and think I'm doing what I need to be doing and get little or no results.   I was introduced to a program called Medifast mid-November after seeing 2 friends see tremendous results in a short period of time.  I investigated the program for a few days and decided I was going to give it a try.  I started December 1.  I began to see results...14 pounds in 2 weeks and then about 3 lbs a week there after.  Brian was so impressed he started about 3 weeks after I did.  

  Fast forward to February.  I hit the 30 pound mark last week.  Brian is down 50.  I was due to start a cycle that same day I hit that mark.  It did not come.  I had a pregnancy test handy so I took it.  No second pink line showed up in the 2 minutes I waited.  I thought to myself  that i am ok with not getting pregnant for a few more months as it gives me a change to get more weight off.  Just out of curiosity I looked at the stick later that day and lo and behold there was another line present.  You aren't supposed to read results after 10 minutes but I had never seen a test turn positive later like that if I wasn't pregnant.  I went to the  $1 store and picked up 2 more tests.  At this point I thought all tests are created equal.  Apparently not so.  I later found out that the higher the price...the more sensitive they are.  I took 1 of the cheap tests again.  This time I let it process about 8 minutes.  There was almost a second line.  I showed it to Brian..."Is that what I think it is?"  I replied I wasn't sure.  He wanted me to take another in the morning which I did.  Same thing.  A kinda sorta line.  Brian told me he wasn't convinced until I spend some money on a test that said the actual word..."pregnant". 

  Monday morning after dropping Rosie off at pre-school I made a trip to Walmart to pick up a digital test.  I came home a took it right away.  I took a picture of the word displayed "pregnant"  and sent it via text to Brian with the message..."ready or not."  He texted back "GULP!"

  I have been to the doc twice for progesterone and HCG levels and all is well at what I think is 5 weeks.  I am on Progesterone as a precaution.  We have told a few people but will wait until after my first official OB appointment to spread the news. So far I haven't really been sick.  I feel a little off when I haven't eaten for a while. 

  My feelings - I am very content to know that is it for us.  Once this boy comes I know our little family is complete.  It will be nice to be able to be past the child bearing years for me.  It has been quite a road for us.  I can't believe after all we have been through we will have 5 kids.  It really is quite a blessing.  Brian has a hard time being excited about the idea until I get further along.  He worries.  I don't blame him.  He calls it cautiously optimistic.  And so we wait.

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